• Emily Bean

Thank You 2018 || Personal

It's hard to put into words how much 2018 meant to me. Not going to lie, 2017 was a pretty rough year for me. I was questioning and unsure about everything - if I was at the right school, my major, my friends, etc. - and was in tears almost everyday because of all these unknown answers.

But then 2018 came! And man, what a freaking year it has been. A lot of firsts. First time visiting some new places (Hawaii, Washington, Sweden, Nevada, Arizona, Utah, and Tennessee). First time flying solo. First time having volunteering actually be a big part of my life. First time I've seriously considered what I want to do after college. First time attending a March/rally. First time attending a formal in college (lol I'm #lame). First time I began taking photography a bit more seriously. etc.

It wasn't all good, all the time, of course. First time getting in a car accident. First time I began pulling multiple all-nighters for homework. First time I began seriously questioning my choices/beliefs/opinions a lot. etc.

But, most importantly, it was the first time I consistently and genuinely stopped caring what people thought of me. It's still a work in progress, because sometimes I do still care deep down (even when I don't want to). But I've gone out in public more often with less/no makeup. I've acted ridiculous on some nights out (and normally would've been embarrassed about it, but wasn't). I don't care if I'm "that" girl with the camera in public (still working on that if I happen to be the model though haha). I'm more confident in expressing my opinions, even if it means I might disagree with others (still kinda working on this, but I HAVE gotten at it!!). I'm more outgoing and have more meaningful conversations with people.

Honestly, this past summer and onwards have been some of the happiest times of my life. Not that I didn't have a good first half of 2018 - not at all - but I was still kinda in a funk somedays.This past semester, though, is when I just decided to say "Eff it #yolo" to everything and just go for it - whether that's a dream of mine, friends, boys, traveling, whatever. All in all, I'm so grateful for 2018. It was just what I needed with all the adventures, friends, family, love, work (seriously love being a lifeguard and an RA), fun stories, and busyness. So so so freaking grateful.

I'm only hoping 2019 will bring the same. It's crazy to think that I'll be abroad for the first half of 2019 and will start my senior year of college the second half!! -- So I have a feeling 2019 will be just as good (fingers crossed).

Some of my goals for 2019:

-Cross a few countries off my Bucket list

-Workout consistently / eat healthier / drink more water (as every year)

-Make some of my dream photoshoots come to life

-Take more pictures!!! Include more of myself!!

-Blog more often

-Travel as much as possible - even if it's just little day/weekend trips

-Read at least 6 books (is it sad or what to think that I once read that many books in a MONTH rather than a year.....sigh)

-Be more outgoing - don't be afraid to reach out to people and make plans

-Live in the moment - enjoy the heck out of being abroad and summer and senior yr!!!

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